Dear Body,

I used to know you so very well. It was nice to understand everything that was going on inside myself and make decisions according to your signs. Well, I'm tired of you giving me mixed signals. I've been trying to get pregnant for 7 cycles, and for each of those cycles you got my hopes up. This last one was the worst though!
Why would you give me nasty nausea, horrible headaches, and painful boobs if I wasn't pregnant. Why would you make my favorite foods chocolate and ice cream unappealing to me if I'm not pregnant! Even worse you got my hopes up by making my period two days late! I can handle the disappointment best if you give me no symptoms at all. Just give me my old two days of PMS moodiness before my period shows and I'll be fine! But to drag my symptoms out and get my hopes up for a week is not helping here!
I'm even following my doctor's recommendation: relax and exercise! Haven't I exercised you enough this last cycle? Was the five pounds I lost (and gained back in bloat) not enough. Was going camping, bike riding, and playing with my boys not relaxing enough? What will it take to get you pregnant!?! How could you go from being super fertile to nine cycles of not? So many other bodies aren't having ANY problems getting pregnant. In fact, most of the girls I know didn't want to be pregnant and can't afford a baby. I know people say it will happen soon, or to pray about it, or even more, God has a plan and it will happen then! But time is running out. I'm looking at a May baby this cycle, if I'm lucky! Has six months not been long enough to give you what you need?
I want to give up on you, but that would mean giving up on having another baby, and I just CAN'T do that. I want another child. I want a healthy pregnancy and a healthy child. You've done it twice body, so what is the problem? I want to talk babies and pregnancy with my friends and stop avoiding them. I want to be filled with happiness again, not just partially happy. I want there to be no more weirdness when people look at me and avoid discussing Taylor and my experience. I want to feel alive again with a new life within me.
So body, please, get your act together and work right this time. I'm tired of the ride I'm on and I'm ready for a new one.