I didn't go to church today. They were doing baby dedications and the sermon is usually about mothers. Much as I love my church, I just couldn't go and watch the babies today. This was the day we had Carson dedicated two years ago, and is the day we should have dedicated Taylor. So I stayed home and enjoyed my morning.
As far as mother's days go, this was one of the best. When you are a mom, it is easy to think that you want the "Hallmark moment" mother's days. You know, the kind where the mom gets to sleep in, is fed breakfast in bed, then is presented with some lavish card and jewelry. Well, my morning wasn't that, but it was a great morning to be a mom. I woke up before Tony, but the boys woke up late so I did get to sleep in. I spent time snuggled up on the couch with both boys watching Disney cartoons. A simple cereal breakfast for all of us and the boys headed outside. I got to catch up on some reading and then out to attack more weeds. Carson has been fussy this morning, but it is nice to be needed. Later today we are off to Tony's Aunt's house.
One thing has been going through my mind all day: I am so very blessed. I am blessed with healthy, happy children and a wonderful husband who is a wonderful father. In thinking about all the things I have, it is hard not to think about things that are lost. I can't help but think about how this day could have been different; I could have been awakened bright and early to nurse my baby instead of sleeping in. As blessed as I am, it is difficult not to be jealous of all the babies out there. I'm hating my body for making this cycle different and am just wishing I were pregnant.
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