Why the internet is bad for paranoid mama

This entire pregnancy I've been waiting for something bad to happen. Not that anything has, I'm just constantly worried about everything; eating too much/little, getting enough sleep, feeling the baby move enough, etc... My last pregnancies I could sit back and relax and live for the moment I felt those flutters and be thankful for each one. Maybe it's just because this is in my mind my last baby, or I'm just being crazy, but instead of relaxing and enjoying the moments, I'm worrying. It's even keeping me up at night and I'm sure it's not great for my blood pressure. So I start trying to research what I should be feeling and doing on the Internet. There are so many websites devoted to pregnancy, but even more sites and blogs are devoted to lost babies. I resisted what I could, but wound up looking at some of those blogs. Not only did it freak me out about just getting to 40 weeks, but now I'm worrying about labor and delivery! Those of you who heard about my last one, you know the only thing I need to worry about is getting to the hospital in time! If I survive this pregnancy, I sure hope all this stress and worrying goes away, because I can't be stressed out with a newborn. I've never been a really worrying mom, but I can't continue stressing out about all the "what ifs" after I have this kid.
Our ultrasound is Wednesday afternoon and hopefully all will be healthy so that might help quell these thoughts I'm stressing over. We hope for a peak at if it is a boy or a girl this time too! Knowing my luck, the baby will be stubborn, just like its dad though.

New Job, Decade, and Baby

My husband found out yesterday that he got the job he interviewed for last week! This will be the first time in 9 years that he won't be working in the tiny town of Rainier! There were over 120 applicants, only five were interviewed, and my hubby got the job! He will be working in a neighboring town in the city's waste water plant. I know it sound stinky, but he's toured the facility and said it isn't at all. He starts in 2 weeks and since it is a union job, makes quite a bit more with excellent benefits and vacation time. His sick leave won't transfer over, so how he'll take time off when the baby comes will be interesting. The only bummer is that once he's trained, he will either have Friday/Saturday off, or Sunday/Monday off. It will make family time together interesting, but cut down on the babysitting bill.

I am only days away from entering my third decade of life. I've tried not to think too much about the approaching day, but it still sits on my mind. Everyone keeps asking what I want, and it's simple; not to fix dinner. My mom is walking her marathon that day, but is making a cake for me. My husband and MIL have put their heads together about what to do for dinner. I don't really care, as long as I don't have to do it. It is strange because I will no long be in my 20's, but 30. All of the girlfriends out there are rolling their eyes reading this because they've already surpassed this milestone.

Some students gave me the cutest little baby clothes the other day as a gift. They just couldn't resist the cute clothes at Target. It got me thinking about how I haven't really given much thought to the new baby at all. Other than a belly and boobs, life is as normal as could be. I'm not focusing on getting baby stuff out or getting a room ready. I haven't shopped at the stores or started a list of things I need. With my other two boys I was focused on my pregnancy and being ready from day one. I almost feel like I'm ignoring this baby and don't want it to be that way. I wanted another baby, but with Carson still in his crib with all the baby stuff there, I can't really get ready for the new one until we get him out. I just need to get my mind on the baby and stop losing sleep over ridiculous stuff.

Sleep, where art thou?

Just because I'm back from outdoor school does not mean I'm getting more sleep! Carson is cutting more teeth, so he wakes up very frequently just to be held and snuggled. This would be fine if Tony and I weren't sick, but every hour is just too much. The last few nights we've taken to dosing him with medicine to help him stay comfortable.

Last night was awful to sleep through. Living in the boonies is great, unless it is near Ft. Lewis. We have discovered that we are below the flight path for most of the fort's night maneuvers and drops. It is really cool to look up and see the helicopters and jets all blacked out and the paratroopers ready to jump, but when they pass the house every 1/2 hour all night long, no one sleeps well. Last night one of the planes was so low over our house that the lights from the jump platform shown in our windows like daylight!

The rest of the night was spent tossing and turning, swearing I heard another plane or Carson fussing. I tried ear plugs, and they worked until about 4:00 when my ears itched and I took them out. I tried putting them back in, but lost them on the floor somewhere. Then my psychotic pregnancy brain took over. I have this problem with my brain taking simple situations and blowing things way out of proportion. I spent the next two hours freaking out over money and budget issues. While those are never far from my mind, to stress out about them for hours in my sleep. Carson then woke up for good at 6:00 and I didn't even need my alarm.
I'm hoping for better sleep tonight!

Among the land of Internet

I survived a week of Cispus outdoor school, barely. I averaged 5 hours of sleep a night and dealt with being sick with a cold all week. Thanks boys for giving it to Mom! No one got sick or homesick so no one went home! I didn't have too many discipline problems and all the students had a great time. The wildest moment was when one of our conselors decided to don a gorilla suit and run around the cabins after lights out the last night. It really freaked some kids out. They calmed down when the counselor still in the suit went into their cabin. They jumped the guy and beat him up. I feel sorry for him, but in a way he should have expected it. The food was lousy and I lost my voice at gym night. It makes things interesting trying to talk on the phone.

Carson and Colten are doing better, even though I'm still sick and Tony's getting it. Carson we discovered had an ear and eye infection, but it cleared up quick with some good antibiotics. Colten was back at school this week, and both boys are enjoying the nice weather outside. Hopefully we've gotten all our sickness for the year over with and can be healthy from now on.

Rose Woes and the Flu Bug

I live in the country. I knew there would be lots of wildlife when we bought this lot, but I thought I could handle it. Deer are cute, passive, mellow creatures, until they get a taste of my roses. Those of you who have seen my roses, can visualize them as they were a month ago, covered with blooms and leaves. The deer have now stripped my roses to only a few blooms out of their reach and there are no leaves left on the plant. My husband was really gallant and offered to by one of the motion detecting sprinklers, but I've resigned myself to the fact that this is the state they will stay in. Nothing will help my roses until next summer. I did mention to my husband though that if he wants to pee in the general area of the roses, (not on them!) that might help keep the pests away. It might have worked. There were no new nibbles last night.

All my boys have been sick with the flu this week. Colten got it Sunday and Carson Monday. Tony was a champ and stayed home with them both days, even though he only slept a few hours each night and felt sick himself. Colten is such a champ at taking medicine and will probably go back to preschool on Friday. He still has a cough so I'm keeping him at the sitter's tomorrow. Carson refuses to take any medicine and instead looks at you and screams. Last night I forced some meds down him so he slept a while, and I hope tonight is better. He took the meds reluctantly, but without spitting them back out at me! Now if only I could get the yellow gook out of his eyes, he could start feeling better!

Now if only I can keep myself from getting sick before I go to outdoor school. I'm stressed out enough without worrying about one more thing. This week and weekend are so busy getting classroom and personal stuff packed to go. And then I need to be at school awake and greeting nerve-wracked parents at 8:00 Monday morning! The things I do for my job!

14 weeks

Had a doctor's appointment today. I gained 2 pounds and the baby is healthy and with a good strong heartbeat. I'm even feeling a few flutters if I'm sitting just right. My next appointment is October 8th and I have my ultrasound then.
It's been a rough week at school dealing with all the planning for outdoor school. I've got another long night tomorrow night and am going to bed now. I'm exhausted!

8 years of wedded bliss?

Ok, so it wasn't all bliss, but 8 years is a long time in my mind to be married together and 9 years is my longest relationship so far, and still going strong. I know, those of you who know, my anniversary isn't until tomorrow! Well, when you're a teacher and mom, you celebrate when you can. I'm working a 12+ hour day tomorrow, so Tony and I went out last night.
My in-laws were wonderful and watched the boys. They fixed them dinner and put them to bed for us. Tony and I went and did a little shopping first, I need maternity tops, and then went to a movie. We only get to see movies about once a year because that's all we can afford it. We went and saw "The Dark Knight". It was ok for me to watch, but I have a tough time watching any kind of violence when I'm pregnant, so I had my eyes closed for the gorey parts. It was good to see Heath Ledger's last film, but since I didn't see him without make up or hear the cool Aussie accent, it wasn't the same experience. I'll just have to watch an oldie to get a dose of his hotness! The best part about the movie is we had a gift card, so the entire thing, including concessions, was free!
After the movie we went to dinner. Tony had a gift card to Red Lobster from his birthday that we decided to use. Usually what we order depends upon the price, but this time it was nice because we ordered what we really wanted. I ate, and ate, and was stuffed with shrimp goodness by the time we left.
My appetite has really picked up, but then, so has my weight. All that good food and buttery sauce has taken a toll on our barely recovered tummies. Tonight is dinner at home and lots of veggies from mom's garden, hopefully that will fix the tummy problems.
I'm back to school tomorrow to finish classroom prep and open house night. Tony and the boys are going to NW Trek for the day and should have a lot more fun than I'll have at school. It's back to the regular routine now. Summer is officially over. It's hard to believe it, especially when the weather is supposed to be nice later this week.